I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
