i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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