Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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