If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
