I'm eating all of the evidence.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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