yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
