is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
