its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
