Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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