Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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