; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
