I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
