Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
