Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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