the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
