a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
