So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
