sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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