Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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