btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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