Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
