so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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