It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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