I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
