I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
