so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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