Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
