Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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