So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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