He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
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