my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
