now i know why i became what i already was.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
