Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
