is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
