it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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