She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
