Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
