they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
