So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
