i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
