The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
