You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize