I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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