you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
