Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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