Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
