So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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