Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
