At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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