It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize