I hope mine doesn't look like that
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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