I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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