I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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