She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
How external is "for external use only"?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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