I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
