Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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