He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
