I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
