maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
