I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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