I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
