Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I bet he comes in French.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
