Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
organizing the empties. That sober.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
