You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
