i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
